I’m always fascinated by how people think.
For example, my latest post was all about you hesitating to buy an engagement ring.
- hesitating because they’re meant to be “forever.”
- hesitating because you’ve never bought jewelry before.
- hesitating because you’ve got no idea of what you’re doing when it comes to choosing gold or gemstones.
And after talking about it on Instagram, I got the following comment:
“I don’t want to spend a bunch of money and have her not like it.“
Now, I wanna explore this comment a bit more, and here’s my idea:
a) let’s look at that comment and rephrase it into a better question;
b) then you and I, we’re gonna have a real and honest talk about relationships;
c) and finally, I’ll show you 5 revealing strategies to help you discover a ring she’ll love for life.
Deal? Let’s go!
Rephrasing the comment into a better question
“I don’t want to spend a bunch of money and have her not like it.”
Look, telling yourself you don’t wanna spend money because of the risk that your girl might not like it will only make you feel stuck. All that does is make you feel like you’re not cut out to buy jewelry, and ultimately, any other gift to show her you love her. Even more when we’re talking about an engagement ring!
Instead of shooting some vague comments into the air to justify all your hesitations, why don’t you ask yourself the following question:
“How can I increase the odds of buying a ring she truly loves?“
Way more constructive, don’t you think? By making yourself this open type question, you can now put your brain to work into finding solutions.
Any ideas yet?
Let’s get real
Here’s the truth, unless you take your future-bride-to-be to choose the ring with you, you’ll never be 100% sure she’s gonna like it.
That’s because there’s no formula, chart, or info-graphic you can use to describe one’s taste adequately. Sorry!
But you know what? That’s not a real problem!
I mean, do you really need to be 100% sure she’s gonna love it? Will the world end if she doesn’t like it? No! If she doesn’t like the ring, tell her how much you love her, and that it’s all ok because now you can go out together to buy a ring that truly reflects your story.
In fact, did you knew that some women prefer to be asked to marry with a simple and inexpensive ring? There are several reasons as to why they prefer it that way. In some of the cases, those brides-to-be prefer to do it themselves, because then they can go and buy the ring that meets their standards. They know everyone will be looking at it, and they wanna be in control.
5 revealing strategies to help you discover a ring she’ll love for life.
If the previous points haven’t convinced you into taking action, if you’re still feeling a little lost, here are 5 strategies you can use to help you know your better-half a tad better.
Knowing more of her taste in jewelry and accessories is what’s gonna make a difference in the ring you end up choosing.
1. ask her
This might sound pretty darn basic, but why should you assume that you have to do it all on your own? This is one of the best ways you can hope to hit the mark.
Ask her if she’s OK with going with you into a jewelry shop and look at some engagement ring options. Once there, ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t like. Ask her why she loves some rings instead of others. Is it the color of the gold? Does she prefer a more discrete look? Or is she all about blinding the women walking on the other side of the road with the light reflected by her ring?
2. takes notes of the jewelry she wears in special events
Invite her to a romantic dinner in that new restaurant everyone is talking about. See how she dresses up and check the jewelry she’s wearing.
Is her jewelry more on the line of a classic look, or is she going full bling to become the queen of the ball? Yellow gold? White gold? No gemstones? One single gem on a ring? Lots of gems? She wears trendy or vintage-looking accessories? Write down as many details as you can.
You can also try to take a selfie with her in such a way that you capture the jewelry shes wearing. Those photos can latter help the jeweler you’re with in presenting you with some ring options.
3. take her into some window shopping
This one is a bit more sneaky…
Tell her you need to go to the mall for some __________ (sneakers, caps, watches… you fill the gap) and that you want her opinion.
Once there, make sure you pass in front of some jewelry stores and pretend like you’re admiring the watches. Ask her what she thinks of them. And at the same time, make sure you also notice where her eyes are being drawn to. Give her time, and if she stops a bit more in front of a particular piece, say something like “that looks nice.” Take note of her reaction.
You can even go inside the actual store and do this same exercise. As you ask to see some watches for yourself, she will probably be looking in other directions. Make a note of what she’s gazing so that you can go back another time and examine them.
4. follow her on Pinterest
No, I’m not suggesting anything creepy.
Pinterest is not social media, it’s more of a search tool you can use to collect images and references of what you like. That’s why many, many users create boards on it and collect snippets of what they imagine their future life is going to be.
With that said, join the crew and follow your girl. Who knows, maybe she already has a board with jewelry and accessories she likes. Study it. Look for trends.
Besides, if you’re planning to get engaged and you have a wedding in your future plans, Pinterest can help you both plan it. It’s got lots of out-of-the-box ideas to turn your wedding day into the best party your friends have ever seen.
5. find an ally
Get an accomplice, someone she trusts, and tell that person you need help to get your girlfriend a jewelry gift. You can even go specific and ask for help with the actual engagement ring. You decide.
Now, a word of advice, I wouldn’t ask your future mother-in-law for help. They mean well, and they do love their daughters, but they tend to be biased. Have you heard the phrase “mothers know best?” Need I say more?
Try one of her closest friends instead. One willing to keep it a secret. But if you ask me, there might just be an even better option: her gay friend.
If you have a gay friend in your circle, ask him for help. They’re usually more alert to all the latest fashion trends, and they typically want the women in their lives looking their best.
Now, it’s you turn!
Let me know in the comments which of the 5 strategies sounds better to you. An even if you’re thinking about joining that jewelry discovery workshop. Do tell!
Talk to you soon,